It's almost 2am and it's now that I write this f..ing blog? Well, looks like it!
I'm not gonna write much, do you mind?! Better for your guys' eyes anyway:
Reading is tiring, don't do that!!! Especially a computer's monitor. Unless you are trying to sleep, then yeh, cool, read my blog! If I can give you a hand for something at least: I'm glad!
I'm planning to go to Canada and the States in a couple of weeks and for a couple of weeks. Don't ask me why. Just because..
I don't have my ticket yet but that's fine, I will.
Today I was checking a bunch of websites to start making my route. I'll do something like Montreal-Boston-NY-philadelphia-Baltimore-Washington-Niagara Falls-Toronto-Montreal. So that would be 8 stopovers in two weeks only, holly shit!
well, we'll see, maybe I'll short the list a little getting rid of Boston and Baltimore, hum hum..
P.,My girlfriend, is from Toronto and I would have loved to get to visit her neighborhood or even better her childhood's house, her family and friends but that's not gonna happen. I don't even know her friends here in Barcelona and apart from M., her best friend, the only two that I know are my future-ex-roommates, the two people that I really don't wanna know anything about!
Today a girl also visited my room that I will rent for the month of March and maybe longer. Li. is from Colombia and she's really buena onda so I hope she moves in to exchange the good old bad vibe for a much better one. Sometimes Mexicans are just better than Colombians but sometime some limited Mexican-Libanese can't fight against faith and Colombian girl's power.
Sometimes, a specific Canadian-indian is making circling my head like at the circus and i'm looking at the show like an Idiot but i can't catch her. The same Canadian-Indian that has spent her nights in my bed for over a month (totally unusual for me) until two weeks ago, and now she's nearly out of my life.
Today I sent her a bunch of messages with my Iphone on WhatsApp and she just responded me right at the end after I asked her to just tell me yes or just tell me no.
she just said: J'te aime. Isn't that cute?! Moi aussi je t'aime, I answered and fuck I do. Life's weird. I'm weird. I wish I weren't that much though. But i am... getting normal... somehow. I just have to be careful about not becoming a love addict from the sex addict I use to be for so lonnng. this affection's need is turning me crazy. Can't i just be a piece of stone with a brain and no more feelings or sexual needs whatsoever?
Why do I always have to be so fucking extreme? Why do I always have to hurt myself so bad? To make myself miserable apparently by purpose, without even me really knowing it's by purpose?! Am I just a fucking masochist for god sake? Am I doomed or something or am making myself doomed? Condemned to eternal in-satisfaction and unhappiness because I always need to make things complicated and to love complicated people?!
Muaks!!! I love you P.
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